Life is Grrrreat!
...and now to get beyond all the angsty-ness that has permeated every inch of my blog previous I propose something new and exciting.
The joy of life.
I know, surprising that I should be all giddy and such - considering that all I seem to write is irritation and...enough of that. And hear me this, it hasn't just been one thing in particular that has made life great. It's been a number of things, but one in particular makes it particularly sweet. We'll get through this as my mind sees fit. I only hope it makes sense.
1. I learned to stop moping.
Believe it or not, this does make peopel feel better. I was so used to sinking into my "woe is me, woe is me" lines that well, all I could feel is woe. Or a word that's better than that. Dunno. Anyhoo, I learned to stop frowning and hunching up with my computer and my story characters. And I let myself smile - for reals. Not the ones I force when RS people start to talk to me and I can't remember their name and they say I'm cute or whatnot... And all I could think of was how my skirt is wrinkly, my shirt is almost too short (thanks the heavens that fashion finally makes longer shirts), etc, etc.
2. I came out of my bubble
This one is connected to the first one, as all of them sorta are. But this one was me growing out of my non-mopiness and deciding to venture back into the world. Maybe it won't be so insanely terrifying as before. Okay, the world outside my bubble has never been that terrifying. But it takes effort and time and well...somehow the rewards of a social life became forgotten and I didn't want to return. Blargh. I opened up and...life got better. Slowly, albeit, but better.
3. I started DOING things
Along with re-entering the social world I discovered that if I go to activities and talk to people, well guess what? Things happen. I make friends. I smile and goof off more. I have fun discussions about philosphy, foods, peeps, cleaning techniques of fridges, and just life in general. And it's fun. People are more interesting when you get to know them compared to just saying "hi" once a week at church and scrambling to remember their name. Indeed, life is good.
4. Reading my scriptures again
Believe it or not, the prophets speak truth. And all that talk about following the commandments and doing the little things is true. The primary answers work. I was moping, I was miserable, and I decided to do what I could to make my life more tolerable and then I started to do what I knew I was supposed to do ages ago - read scriptures, write in journal (going to rectify that tonight. Baby steps, right?), pray night and morning (as well as be sincere and sit up and do it...) and all of those other things. I can't say I've had any visions or saved the world, but hey, my life's been better. Things are just so much more...calm. Manageable. There's still chaos, that's everywhere in college. But I don't stress so much. I don't spazz and freak out. I just smile, laugh, crack down to work when needed, let myself procrastinate occassionally, and do #3 and #5 a bit more.
5. Flops...
Yeah, yeah, this one is gonna sound stereo-typical mormon girl answer. Phooey on that. Still is true. First and foremost, he's a great guy. Goofy at times, albeit, but hey, when am I not? Okay, I try not to be in front of my professor and employer and the kids I TA...but otherwise. He asked me to Homecoming and I was taken aback and really flattered at the same time. I hadn't thought that he liked me as more than a friend. I mean, he hadn't made any special effort to talk to me...not that I noticed at least. He'd only complimented me on my ability to do strange voices, written me a happy note every week or so...yeah. I'm a quick one. But that's besides the point. So I started hanging out every day and it's been a blast. Sure, I don't get as much homework done, but if I try I can get all I need to done. It's just scheduling my time better. Which I've been needing to do anyway. Flops just gives me another reason to do it.
And he's so good to me. He'll walk me home, make silly faces at me, give me hugs at random, play with my hair (which I didn't think I'd like, but...I don't mind when he does it), tells me I'm great all the time, and is so gosh-darn understanding. Not that I'd expected a guy to reply to the questions I'm referring to in a bad way. They're all valid concerns. I think it's the way he handled them, how he just...understood. I didn't have to lay out the entire situation and explain why it was a good idea to do it. He just agreed, added his two cents and we've mostly followed through. I don't mind being the one to spark the good things, but he's perfectly amiable to them. We both have long, busy days. It's easy to be tired and just want to lay there instead of doing something better... we took a walk around campus at about midnight. Fun times. And then we said goodnight before curfew. Egads, amazing, but true.
But overall...life is great. Expect more chipperness after this. And hopefully me being more consistent in this.
Over and out -
Matsugi
The joy of life.
I know, surprising that I should be all giddy and such - considering that all I seem to write is irritation and...enough of that. And hear me this, it hasn't just been one thing in particular that has made life great. It's been a number of things, but one in particular makes it particularly sweet. We'll get through this as my mind sees fit. I only hope it makes sense.
1. I learned to stop moping.
Believe it or not, this does make peopel feel better. I was so used to sinking into my "woe is me, woe is me" lines that well, all I could feel is woe. Or a word that's better than that. Dunno. Anyhoo, I learned to stop frowning and hunching up with my computer and my story characters. And I let myself smile - for reals. Not the ones I force when RS people start to talk to me and I can't remember their name and they say I'm cute or whatnot... And all I could think of was how my skirt is wrinkly, my shirt is almost too short (thanks the heavens that fashion finally makes longer shirts), etc, etc.
2. I came out of my bubble
This one is connected to the first one, as all of them sorta are. But this one was me growing out of my non-mopiness and deciding to venture back into the world. Maybe it won't be so insanely terrifying as before. Okay, the world outside my bubble has never been that terrifying. But it takes effort and time and well...somehow the rewards of a social life became forgotten and I didn't want to return. Blargh. I opened up and...life got better. Slowly, albeit, but better.
3. I started DOING things
Along with re-entering the social world I discovered that if I go to activities and talk to people, well guess what? Things happen. I make friends. I smile and goof off more. I have fun discussions about philosphy, foods, peeps, cleaning techniques of fridges, and just life in general. And it's fun. People are more interesting when you get to know them compared to just saying "hi" once a week at church and scrambling to remember their name. Indeed, life is good.
4. Reading my scriptures again
Believe it or not, the prophets speak truth. And all that talk about following the commandments and doing the little things is true. The primary answers work. I was moping, I was miserable, and I decided to do what I could to make my life more tolerable and then I started to do what I knew I was supposed to do ages ago - read scriptures, write in journal (going to rectify that tonight. Baby steps, right?), pray night and morning (as well as be sincere and sit up and do it...) and all of those other things. I can't say I've had any visions or saved the world, but hey, my life's been better. Things are just so much more...calm. Manageable. There's still chaos, that's everywhere in college. But I don't stress so much. I don't spazz and freak out. I just smile, laugh, crack down to work when needed, let myself procrastinate occassionally, and do #3 and #5 a bit more.
5. Flops...
Yeah, yeah, this one is gonna sound stereo-typical mormon girl answer. Phooey on that. Still is true. First and foremost, he's a great guy. Goofy at times, albeit, but hey, when am I not? Okay, I try not to be in front of my professor and employer and the kids I TA...but otherwise. He asked me to Homecoming and I was taken aback and really flattered at the same time. I hadn't thought that he liked me as more than a friend. I mean, he hadn't made any special effort to talk to me...not that I noticed at least. He'd only complimented me on my ability to do strange voices, written me a happy note every week or so...yeah. I'm a quick one. But that's besides the point. So I started hanging out every day and it's been a blast. Sure, I don't get as much homework done, but if I try I can get all I need to done. It's just scheduling my time better. Which I've been needing to do anyway. Flops just gives me another reason to do it.
And he's so good to me. He'll walk me home, make silly faces at me, give me hugs at random, play with my hair (which I didn't think I'd like, but...I don't mind when he does it), tells me I'm great all the time, and is so gosh-darn understanding. Not that I'd expected a guy to reply to the questions I'm referring to in a bad way. They're all valid concerns. I think it's the way he handled them, how he just...understood. I didn't have to lay out the entire situation and explain why it was a good idea to do it. He just agreed, added his two cents and we've mostly followed through. I don't mind being the one to spark the good things, but he's perfectly amiable to them. We both have long, busy days. It's easy to be tired and just want to lay there instead of doing something better... we took a walk around campus at about midnight. Fun times. And then we said goodnight before curfew. Egads, amazing, but true.
But overall...life is great. Expect more chipperness after this. And hopefully me being more consistent in this.
Over and out -
Matsugi
posted by Amy Adams at 12:22 AM
2 comments
