The Complexities of Grammar

It seems that kids these days just don't know what this complex and mysterious "grammar" thing is. (Though I'm not too much older than some of these children...at least I don't use netspeak.)
Today I had an interesting experience. I only got two hours of sleep last night (due to me helping everyone else finish packing and doing cleaning checks) and then rushed off to work, only to return home and have to scramble to finish cleaning the apartment. Seems that my roommate didn't realize that the top of the fridge would qualify as part of the job to "clean the fridge". Hm. I didn't know fridges came without tops, must be a Utah thing. (Excuse my cruel sarcasm, it's been a long day.)
Luckily the lady who checked the cleaning was willing to give us an extra 35 minutes to finish up. Poor Amber and I were working our tails off to get it done. I've never been so busy-busy for so many hours straight. No wonder I crashed for a while. Either way, we finish. We mostly pass. (Only my roomie didn't. Heh. I feel no pity.) And I go crash at the kitty-corner apt, hanging out and laughing with them. Dozing on their balcony with a couch cushion. It's surprisingly comfortable, I'll have you know. Either way, I calm my nerves for a while. Then we watch the people hired by the Elms clean up the rest of the way. Of course, when they clean we get charged. They had a few jobs "re-done" by these people, who actually lived in the same town as me at one point. Odd stuff. They ask us some stuff, find out that my stuff is the stuff in my apartment and say "Oh, okay. We won't pack up your stuff and charge you for it because you're supposed to be checked out." (This all being besides the fact that I told the Elms almost a month ago that I'm staying 8 extra days and have arranged it so they'll take it out my deposit and my parents will pay me back. Thank the heavens for that. $80 is a lot...)
With that dilemma over, we hang out a bit more, then Laura is exhausted and we decide to go get food and let her sleep on my couch. (I noticed her crying and jumped on that one. "Hey, Laura?" *hugs* "You wanna go sleep on my couch? You can if you want...") We wander over to Burger King for cheap burgers after dropping off everybody else's bags in my apt so they don't have to be "illegal" in their apt anymore.
Food is good.
We return, let Laura sleep some more and hang out in my room. (I discover the amusement which is explained later about this time.) We hear her move and Sam goes to persuade her to eat the two burgers we bought for her. When this is confirmed a success, we come out and joke. Decide to be productive and go to the library and get a movie or something. Maybe even go see 'Phantom' in the cheap theatre. We of course, later discover we're too tired to do much of anything and that movie's no longer there. So Elizabeth and Uffish go to their old place of residence and Laura and Sam and I hang out and they go get ice cream. I discover that mine was eaten and I got left with Forelithe's. This almost distresses me. (About as much as the fact that my Monty Python metal poster thingy got packed with Forelithe's stuff...she was so sure it was Melissa's. Le sigh. I could've sworn I'd stated a billion times that it was mine. Guess I'll just have to wait until Fall to get the smegging thing back. Gr. I like to have that on my door.)
So Sam, Laura, and I watch X-Men and have a grand time eating ice cream. Either way, Forelithe is on her way home and likely will be busy-busy with wedding plans, I get to chill here 8 more days and wait for my brother's wedding, and Laura goes home tomorrow, Sam will stay a few nights here, etc. Apparently I get new roommates tomorrow. Skippy.
But onto the title...I'm good at missing the point of my blogs. Much like my conversations. Either way, I write fanfiction. I know, it's corny, it's stupid, and usually the plots are awful. Mine were started on a whim (and I now realize I've been writing them unintentionally since I was 12 or so) and they're really quite good. Well, the ones I actually try on. It's a PotC one. But the point is that my "ff.net name" is bobo3. Okay, just to keep it straight: I go by bobo. Not bobo3. I only bear this name because ff.net decided that they must number everyone with similar names. So a while ago (a year, maybe?) I became bobo3. Not a huge deal. Irritating, but tolerable. No one has ever had a problem with this, well, until today.
I turn on my comp and jump with glee to see I have gmail. Except I notice that the first line looks...odd. "I'm the original bobo3..." (Gmail only shows you so much.) So, out of curiosity, I go and look at it. I want to laugh. I want to smite someone. I scratch my head. I change my position in my chair. This just...doesn't make sense.
The basic jist is this: some girl (Annie?) - who has three friends or three identities, I'm not sure - claims that she (and her friends?) are the original "bobo3" and so I an imposter. And a terrible one at that. A "bich" as she puts it. Thus, my grammar comment. This girl only spells a small percentage of the words correctly in her general message. Well, the one she put up as reviews in my ff.net stories. (She decided to litter them all over my stories. Of course, all she does is say that I stole them and insults me. Then hits copy/paste. Several times. Now I have to figure out how to get rid of them. I'm not fond of curse words, or attempts at them either.)

I'll give you the "personal" message she sent me. Thanks Annie, the laughs are great. :

" Dear bobo3 (imposter)

This is the original bobo3 and u can kiss mai a**! Ur such a bich, who do u think u r and u stole our original name that we made up. (there are three of us) I would beat ur a** down so if u could pleez tell me where u live i will have a word with you.

U dont kno how upset we are and we would like the name back because we want it.

Love bobo3 (the ORIGINAL)

p.s. ur a thief "

(I will now make commentary. Oh, the joys.)

Dear bobo3 (imposter) {Wow, great beginning. I feel the angst and aggression.}

This is the original bobo3 and u can kiss mai a**! {Yep, still feeling aggression. In lieu of me being the "imposter" it would automatically make you the original. Thanks for pointing that out. Though...why not just spell out "you" if you're going to spell out "original". And "my" is shorter than "mai". Phonetics only get you so far. Are you done with the "Hooked on Phonics" program yet? And no thanks, I'm not much for kissing of that sort.}


Ur such a bich, who do u think u r and u stole our original name that we made up. {Who do I think I am? Um, bobo. Thanks. I would like to refer to BeBe's review after lovely Annie's, bobo really isn't a hugely new name. And for the record, I didn't choose to be the third. I explained that above. Ugh, horrible run on sentence. Must...not...pick...on...}


(there are three of us) {For sake of being nice, I'll leave the three comment alone. }


I would beat ur a** down so if u could pleez tell me where u live i will have a word with you. {Next...you give me a threat and then ask where I live? First off, my ff.net profile says what state, what more do you need? You're so insanely smart that you could smell an imposter a thousand miles away. Just come and find me. But no, really. If you wanted me to reveal such information it would be wiser to give the threat after I've give up the information. You don't have a very good incentive program. And when did such an aforementioned beating become a chat? Or a word, even.}

U dont kno how upset we are and we would like the name back because we want it. {Well, considering no one can feel exactly what another person feels, that's a true statement. But the fact that you wrote this flame and yet didn't bother to actually spell things correctly (spell check exists for a reason, it's okay to use it) makes me wonder. My stories are full of correct grammar and spelling. I value using normal speech, though I do use "AN" for author's notes and other little abbreviations, but nowhere near the level of your garbled langauge. And your last part of that sentence? It's a little redundent. You would like the name back. Understood. Because you want it...that's implied. I won't bother to go further than that.}

Love bobo3 (the ORIGINAL) {Now we're moving to love? Or are we being sarcastic, hm? Ooo, caps. I'm glad you could point out that fact. What was the whole rest of your email about?}

p.s. ur a thief {Golly, gee! I need the definition of "stole" pointed out to me. Thief=stole. Wow...I never would've guessed.}

{And get her email title: "hello fellow fanfictioner fan". Wow. She can make a word. Fanfictioner. Not too original, but it works. Then again, everybody's thieving today. Makes me think of poor Aido...I feel a sliver of her pain. And that irks me plenty.}


And so ends my explication. Gosh, it's so fun. Relieving, even. Thanks, BeBe. It's nice to have the support and people who don't just go around throwing around such stupid threats. Part of me wonders if Annie would have more muscle than brain because she lacks the use of her brain...or if she's just lacking both. If she can't spell "my" correctly, can she swing her fist? Can she find an address? Can she use a weapon? Hm.

Anyhoo, I guess my lesson is simple today. Grammar is your friend.

Signing out, Matsugi. (Or bobo/bobo3, I suppose. I was going to comment on a really spiff programing thing I learned, but I'll leave that for another post. This one is huge already. Sorry, Uffish.)