And Life Trundles On
Hm. Nothing of true importance to report, just the usual happiness and busy-ness.
Yesterday we gave back the student papers in my TA class and recieved new ones in kind. I know what I'll be doing for Thanksgiving. There are four bonuses. (Which will likely turn into more, who knows?) Two of the said papers are creative and thus much more fun to read/grade. And a third is another art piece by this great girl in the class. The first was calligraphy, the second is this collection of drawings and quotes. Perdyyyyy. The fourth? Risk: Peloponnessian War style. Rock. Rock on.
For Thanksgiving I'm going to my brother's in-law's cabin in Park City. Never been there, but I will soon. Woot? So I'll be grading, playing Risk, playing Harry Potter Scene It (which I hear is way easy), cramming in Japanese, eating turkey, and...enjoying having no immediate homework. But I will still die...gaaaaah.....
And I won't be able to see Flops. Hm. It was odd, I haven't had a distinct feeling of missing him yet. Sure, I've gone pretty long periods of time without seeing him (in Provo standards, I suppose), but last night was likely the one that affected me the most...
Y'see, I went to the midnight showing of Harry Potter. The Goblet of Fire one. And generally I have a blast going to such shindigs, but this time around...not as much. The people were fun, but I only knew two of them previously. And one was wrapped up with her numerous friends (there were...14 of us total?) and the other took a nap for part of it, or was distracted in one way or another. But we did have some good chats about guys and relationships and not feeling old enough and other randomness. Plus how we'll likely go to Japan Study Abroad together. Much happiness there.
But there I was, sitting on that cold floor and waiting for 10:30 to come so they would seat us in the theatre, and well...I just felt lonely. There were people all over, plenty of them. And yet I felt lonely. And it took me a moment to pinpoint it, but I think the cold floor, tiredness, old insecurities, and not-knowing-many-people came into play and made it more poignant. Plus the fact that I only got to see Flops from like....5:20 to 6:35ish. That's not long, my friends. Not long at all. (I won't be able to see him until after 5 today...le sigh.) So I didn't mope, persay...but I missed him. And wondered why in the world I'd gone to this crazy mess and wasn't at home doing homework and/or snuggling with him. Really? Why? American Fork is not the destination of my dreams. And while the movie was good, the environment was generally good (discounting my slight mopiness) I well....I would've been fine without. Or it would have been much more fun with Flops.
What does this mean? Am I getting so attached that this could be getting really...serious? (Please take this as a girl working out her feelings, Flops. You're great and you know that.) Yes, I'm twenty and girls have been younger than me (well, wait, I have a friend four months older and married and pregnant---awesome, but very freaky) but I still...wow. A relationship this great and having it get serious sorta...makes me wonder. And then I get anxious. Realize I'm getting anxious over non-important matters and start to berate myself. Realize I need to stop berating myself over something so silly/stupid and try to snap out of that. And the cycle wobbles around and gets confusing and I just get agitated and grumpy and tired. And then I realize that my Japanese homework is still simmering beneath my fingers.
But on a happier note...I had my interview for Study Abroad today. W-Sensei is awesome, had him way back in....201 or summat, I think. And he remembered me. But he seems to think I'm all right. Only one things possibly limits my chances of going... generally they take 10-12 people. They have 15-16 applicants...and might not be able to get enough homes for us to stay at. Oh dear. You must remember, Japan has small houses. Cramped space+extra guest=not so good. But I'm hopeful...especially since those with Japanese majors and minors have priority. And hey, that's me!
Agh. Hungry. Planning on Gandolfo's later with Uffish and Flops (I figured you'd be okay with this idea). Have TA movie which makes viewers hungry/thirsty at 3. Ugh. Too much to do this weekend. Like normal. Should be tired. Running on so little sleep and yet...still perky. Is it....four hours? Hm, maybe 4 1/2...since I slept in a bit.
Signing out --
Matsugi
Yesterday we gave back the student papers in my TA class and recieved new ones in kind. I know what I'll be doing for Thanksgiving. There are four bonuses. (Which will likely turn into more, who knows?) Two of the said papers are creative and thus much more fun to read/grade. And a third is another art piece by this great girl in the class. The first was calligraphy, the second is this collection of drawings and quotes. Perdyyyyy. The fourth? Risk: Peloponnessian War style. Rock. Rock on.
For Thanksgiving I'm going to my brother's in-law's cabin in Park City. Never been there, but I will soon. Woot? So I'll be grading, playing Risk, playing Harry Potter Scene It (which I hear is way easy), cramming in Japanese, eating turkey, and...enjoying having no immediate homework. But I will still die...gaaaaah.....
And I won't be able to see Flops. Hm. It was odd, I haven't had a distinct feeling of missing him yet. Sure, I've gone pretty long periods of time without seeing him (in Provo standards, I suppose), but last night was likely the one that affected me the most...
Y'see, I went to the midnight showing of Harry Potter. The Goblet of Fire one. And generally I have a blast going to such shindigs, but this time around...not as much. The people were fun, but I only knew two of them previously. And one was wrapped up with her numerous friends (there were...14 of us total?) and the other took a nap for part of it, or was distracted in one way or another. But we did have some good chats about guys and relationships and not feeling old enough and other randomness. Plus how we'll likely go to Japan Study Abroad together. Much happiness there.
But there I was, sitting on that cold floor and waiting for 10:30 to come so they would seat us in the theatre, and well...I just felt lonely. There were people all over, plenty of them. And yet I felt lonely. And it took me a moment to pinpoint it, but I think the cold floor, tiredness, old insecurities, and not-knowing-many-people came into play and made it more poignant. Plus the fact that I only got to see Flops from like....5:20 to 6:35ish. That's not long, my friends. Not long at all. (I won't be able to see him until after 5 today...le sigh.) So I didn't mope, persay...but I missed him. And wondered why in the world I'd gone to this crazy mess and wasn't at home doing homework and/or snuggling with him. Really? Why? American Fork is not the destination of my dreams. And while the movie was good, the environment was generally good (discounting my slight mopiness) I well....I would've been fine without. Or it would have been much more fun with Flops.
What does this mean? Am I getting so attached that this could be getting really...serious? (Please take this as a girl working out her feelings, Flops. You're great and you know that.) Yes, I'm twenty and girls have been younger than me (well, wait, I have a friend four months older and married and pregnant---awesome, but very freaky) but I still...wow. A relationship this great and having it get serious sorta...makes me wonder. And then I get anxious. Realize I'm getting anxious over non-important matters and start to berate myself. Realize I need to stop berating myself over something so silly/stupid and try to snap out of that. And the cycle wobbles around and gets confusing and I just get agitated and grumpy and tired. And then I realize that my Japanese homework is still simmering beneath my fingers.
But on a happier note...I had my interview for Study Abroad today. W-Sensei is awesome, had him way back in....201 or summat, I think. And he remembered me. But he seems to think I'm all right. Only one things possibly limits my chances of going... generally they take 10-12 people. They have 15-16 applicants...and might not be able to get enough homes for us to stay at. Oh dear. You must remember, Japan has small houses. Cramped space+extra guest=not so good. But I'm hopeful...especially since those with Japanese majors and minors have priority. And hey, that's me!
Agh. Hungry. Planning on Gandolfo's later with Uffish and Flops (I figured you'd be okay with this idea). Have TA movie which makes viewers hungry/thirsty at 3. Ugh. Too much to do this weekend. Like normal. Should be tired. Running on so little sleep and yet...still perky. Is it....four hours? Hm, maybe 4 1/2...since I slept in a bit.
Signing out --
Matsugi
posted by Amy Adams at 1:38 PM
1 Comments:
Completely understand. I know we're trying to figure things out. I get the wondering and getting anxious thing too. But I know things are great as are you.
Post a Comment
<< Home